lack of flowers for your loss
by Sawlt to Your Suger
Summary: During volume six, at Aido's vacation home. After Aido and Kaname discuss Kaname's parents, Takuma wants to talk about Aido's loyalty to and feelings for the Pureblood. "I'm sure you know that I know how you feel. About Kaname." one-sided Aido/Kan.


_i am on a roll today! haha. i actually wrote the majority of this earlier in march, but didn't like it, and happened to see it in my documents when i was writing _to love_. but i reread it and actually thought it was worth editing and publishing._

_**DISCLAIMER: **characters not mine. matsuri hino's brainchildren. yaddayadda. i wrote these words, but didn't create the characters, or even the context! that was hino. cue applause._

_this could technically be a Definition of Love, but i decided that it isn't going to parade around as one because it doesn't technically connect with the Definition stories. yet, anyway. so its blissfully out on its own._

_pretty much, right after Kaname and Aido's conversation in volume six, nights 28 and 29. (the conversation about Kaname's parents.) Takuma comes to talk to Aido about the latter's...feelings._

_enjoy!! and review, please._

_--(my name is) Inconsequential._

_sawwwwlt to your suger.  
_

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**lack of flowers for your loss**

...

...

_Knock, knock_.

Hanabusa's heart skipped a beat. He looked up from the old texts he was studying. Could it be—? No. He knew what Kaname-sama smelled like, and this wasn't it.

"Come in," the vampire called, half-heartedly. The second time he'd spoken those words after mistaking the newcomer for Kaname Kuran, one of the few remaining Purebloods and the last of the Kurans. And whoever was about to enter wasn't bearing flowers, as Kain had.

Takuma Ichijou, Kaname's dearest friend, and second-in-command, as it were, peeped his head in, thin but muscular body following. Hanabusa gasped, and shoved his books behind him, hoping to hide them from the Vice President's view.

"Vice Pres-I mean, Ichijou! I wasn't expecting you..." Hanabusa's gaze flicked from discomfort and surprise to distrust and annoyance. Before he could continue though, Takuma had shut the door and begun to speak.

"No, Idol, I'm not here to pick on you anymore, don't worry. I'm sorry that put you off so much—I simply find it amusing, and don't mean any harm. But right now is not the time. Your conversation with Kaname was...disconcerting, to say the least. May I?" Takuma motioned toward a cushioned chair that was positioned near to the bed on which Hanabusa sat, cross-legged, guarding his books. He needn't have nodded, for Takuma had already made his way towards the piece of furniture.

"Tell Kaname-sama that I hope he might forgive me for my forwardness and prying," murmured the blonde youth, cheeks pink with shame.

Takuma shook his head. "You will have to do it, though I will certainly pass the message on, and I am sure the President knows your feelings." Hanabusa reddened more at the last uttered word. Takuma continued. "I'm sure you know that I know how you feel. About Kaname."

Hanabusa didn't breath for a long moment. He closed his eyes, long lashes pulling a thin veil over the blue orbs. When he opened them again, they glinted with a light sheen of tears. He tried to shake these away but only managed to dislodge a small drip into his lap.

Takuma pressed on.

"I know that you care greatly about him, and want to protect and help him in any way possible. I know that's why you've been pouring over these books for the last few hours, ever since you spoke with Kaname. It's why you're so determined to discover what happened to his parents, and who murdered them. And why you didn't think to suspect him..." The Vice President stared at Hanabusa, not unkindly, but certainly with much power. "Not that you ought to suspect him. But the very fact you didn't, not once—that means much to him. Very much." He paused. "Don't cry, Aido. Even unrequited love doesn't warrant tears. They do you no good."

Hanabusa wondered if this was a reference to Takuma's longing for (and strange relationship with) Senri Shiki, Kaname's far-off relation, and also Takuma's closest friend, other than the Pureblood. But Hanabusa did not mention or ask about Shiki—for fear of trodding on yet more private details that were none of his business.

In a quiet voice, Hanabusa replied, "But it brings me so much harm." Takuma sighed and recrossed his legs, placing a manicured hand on one knee.

"I love him," whispered Hanabusa, his throat seizing up as he spoke, so that his words came out in a rasp, framed by thin tendrils of tears that slipped past his mouth. "I would die for him."

"As would I," Takuma agreed.

"It is different, Ichijou," snapped Hanabusa, wiping his eyes with his sleeve. "My love is different." He took up one of the books from behind him. "If only he would talk to me, if only I could make him understand that I would _die_ for him, that I will help him no matter what it costs me. That he is my _king_."

Silence spread through the room like blood pooling at an open wound, issuing from the cracks in the floors and between the doors. Hanabusa breathed again.

"I love him."

"I understand," spoke Takuma, quietly. He gave Hanabusa a sharp look, almost reproaching. "I do not approve, for it is a lost cause. But I understand." For a moment, Takuma's frustration was evident, but then his face smoothed, and he smiled. "If there comes a day when I cannot be there, you must protect him. You and he will never be, but you will love him still, through and through. I would ask that you promise me, but I know you will keep your word, whether I ask for it or not."

Hanabusa nodded slowly.

"And though you're going through that paperwork quite intently, give yourself some time to enjoy this vacation. Live a little; if not for yourself, for Kaname." Takuma grinned. "It's sweet really. If you're so willing to die for him, why don't you live for him, first?"

He stood and smelled the flowers that Akatsuki had brought in for his cousin earlier.

The Idol sat still on the bed, transfixed by Takuma's straightforward words and the conversation that the vampires had just shared.

"I promise," he said, mouth quivering.

Takuma's smile faltered, but widened again. "Don't cry, Aido. You are beautiful, as is Kaname-sama, but he is not yours. These are the ways of the world. Some have tightly coiled heartstrings that lead to one being, whose own heartstrings lead to another. Believe that I am sorry. Your pain must be great. Senri and I can only imagine."

_Ah_, thought Hanabusa, at the mention of Shiki.

"And even then, we cannot. No one can. You love Kaname."

"Yes. I love him dearly." Hanabusa held his head high, proud, held Takuma's eyes. Takuma nodded in farewell, reaching for the doorknob and resting his hand there before he spoke.

"I'm so sorry."

The door closed with a sharp _click_ behind the Vice President. Despite his best efforts, Hanabusa dissolved into tears.

...

_xfin_.

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_what'd you think?_

_also, i watched princess mononoke. it was cute. i want to be a wolfgirl. haha.  
_


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